Suffering That Builds Character

Dear Janet,

I have been thinking about suffering.

Not because I think suffering is good. I don't.

I wish you had never had to suffer. I wish Nemye had never had to watch her mother become so sick. I wish our family had been spared that chapter entirely.

But I also have to admit that it changed me.

Some things comfort cannot teach you. Resilience. Patience. Courage. And perhaps most importantly, compassion for people carrying pain you cannot see.

I would never tell someone to be grateful for suffering.

But I think we get to choose what we do with it.

As a father, I sometimes want to protect Nemye from every difficult thing life might bring her. I know I cannot.

What I can do is give her enough love and confidence to face difficult things when they come.

I want her to become someone who can endure hardship without becoming hard.

Someone who can go through difficult things and still remain kind.

Maybe that is one of the things your suffering left with me.

A responsibility to make something good out of something that was not good.

To become a better father.

A better man.

And to build things that give other people opportunities.

I wish your suffering had never happened.

But I hope the person I become because of it is someone you would be proud of.

Brian.