Suffering that builds character

Dear Janet,

I have been thinking about suffering and the role it plays in shaping who we become.

I wish you never had to suffer. I wish our family had been spared watching someone we loved go through something so difficult.

But I also cannot deny that it changed me.

Suffering teaches things that comfort cannot. It teaches resilience, patience, courage and, perhaps most importantly, compassion for the pain of others.

I don't think we need to be grateful for suffering. But we can choose what we make of it.

As a father, I sometimes want to protect our daughter from every difficult thing life will bring. But I know I cannot. My responsibility is to give her the love and foundation she needs to face those difficulties when they come.

I want her to grow into someone who can endure hardship without losing her kindness, and who can use her own experiences to understand and help others.

That is perhaps the greatest lesson I have taken from what happened to you.

I hope I can turn some of what I have been through into something good: becoming a better father, a better person, and building things that create opportunities for others.

I wish your suffering had never happened.

But I hope the person I become because of it is someone you would be proud of.